A Wabi Wedding?

We came across a new word today - wabi. We searched the internet for the combination "wabi wedding" and found no such references. However, the somewhat difficult-to-interpret Japanese word seems to be a compelling adjective to describe the essence of The Good Bride's perfect wedding. Did I say "perfect"? Ooops, that's rather ironic since wabi refers to the beauty of imperfection. In other words, it is the flaw, the asymetry, and quirkiness of something that gives it its true elegance and distinguishes it. Examples of things that have wabi are a crooked branch, an aged piece of pottery with a chip, a weathered barn, handmade paper or a homemade meal, or the human face. Wabi is associated with peace unencumbered by material burdens, and the transience of nature. So, clearly a wabi wedding is all that this blog is devoted to - a wedding that allows you to be your full self by embracing simplicity and the history of what has grown, bloomed, and weathered rather than that which has been mass-produced. If you have eight bridesmaids who are all required to wear their hair up even when two or three hate their hair up, your wedding definitely lacks wabi. We'll be thinking more about this in future notes.

Elopement for The Good Bride

Elopement is one of the very best and purely romantic ways to save loads of money as well as the terror associated with a traditional wedding. We so, so often hear brides say that if they had to do it all over again, they would not have not allowed someone (like Mom or MIL) to hijack their wedding, and would have escaped to the magical and blissful land of the quick, secret wedding. One of the most exciting days I had was nearly 30 years ago when my mother got married for the second time. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and she got married the same day she got engaged. The only ones in attendance were myself, my boyfriend at the time, and the judge. Afterwards, we took a few pictures (truly happy-looking ones), and ate lunch at a quaint restaurant. Take note, however - a nasty, sour moment occured when we met at my uncle's for dinner, and she made the announcement to her own mother who had never even met the husband. Nevertheless, they are still married today, as are many famous elopees (Sarah Palin) - just don't pull a Britney Spears and elope while intoxicated. So, is it really okay to be a Good Bride and elope? Absolutely! Some elope because they perceive that their only other choices are having a $28,000 wedding or serving punch, mints, and pimento cheese sandwiches in the church basement (of course, there are other options - that's a lot of what this blog is about). THE challenge for The Good Bride in elopement is how she tells other people. If the bride does not wish parents to be present for the elopement, she should call them the same day and break the news. If I were the mother-of-the-bride, I would also love a personal sweet email and a photographed emailed to me on the same day. Next, the Good Bride should inform as many others in her circle of closer friends and family as possible - and then try to post lots of pictures on a social network like FaceBook right away (that very day would be swell). If someone, like Mom or Dad, reacts even a little negatively to the news, understand that they are in shock, and get off the phone politely as soon as possible, letting them know when you will be visiting them.

A Complaint-Free Bride

We recently read a truly life-changing book, A Complaint-Free World by. The author challenges us to spend 20 days without complaining or criticizing. This is far taller order than it may seem, and we suspect doubly difficult for a typical bride, who is, uh, not-so-Good. It is simply amazing the effect that our complaining has on our well-being, our happiness, our health and that of those around us. Once you start this program, you will immediately notice how often and unconsciously you and others complain. As a bride, does it really matter if the turquoise shoes you ordered are a slightly-different shade than the program ribbons? And does anyone really care if the caterer used onions instead of scallions in the dip? If you want to really make a lasting impact on your loved ones and enjoy your wedding planning and day in a way that others will envy, you may want to order one copy of this book for yourself, and several more for the wedding party. We bought this book for our office group a few weeks ago, and so far, the pettiness and cattiness have diminished, and job satisfaction levels have found new highs.

Welcome to The Good Bride!

We believe that the ridiculously oppulent wedding funded by second mortgages and seven maxed-out credit cards is becoming a thing of the past. We believe that brides-to-be are becoming almost as weary of their own empty self-absorption as their bridesmaids, family and friends are tiring of their petulant need for attention. We believe that, in spite of the obscene lengths to which brides will go to impress their guests, most decadent weddings have become somewhat indistinguishable and predictable. We believe that, underneath the layers of tulle and chartreuse and magenta matching favors and table cards, the inner heart of many brides is quietly hoping for permission to wed in a manner that better reflects her joy, love, and genuine nature. The purpose of this blog is to provide creative resources and inspiration for the bride who wishes to plan a rich and meaningful wedding minus the harsh toll on her relationships, the environment, and her finances.