Darn, I Wish I Could Sew

My Mother used to sew everything when I was growing up, from tablecloths to potholders to the frilly-nilly dresses she made me wear to school. She bought me a sewing machine when I was four, and I think I enjoyed it until I reached an early independent stage around five, and first swore I would never be like My Mother. So, today, I have to rely on my mother-in-law to hem my pants, and spend $20 for a new cushion I should be able to whip up myself. There is so, so much we could do to be a Good Bride if we could just do a little bit of sewing. Plus, there's something so earthy about the feeling of having made something tangible. So, for Christmas, I'm going to ask Santa for a sewing machine, and start exploring what fun I can have. I really don't think it's too late. I'm looking out for a sewing machine that's easy to use and somewhat affordable, and here's the affordable Brother model I'm thinking of today. It was highly reviewed by people who sound a lot like me. One even said she made a quilt on her first day!

A Used Dress? Okay, But Just Look What You Can Do with the Money, Silly Girl

"Yuck, no way am I wearing somebody else dress!" whined the unnamed bride-to-be who happens to be my daughter (and contributor and inspiration for The Good Bride). So, the average retail wedding dress is around $1600 or so. On eBay today there are just under 30,000 wedding dresses list, starting at 58 cents. So let's assume we find a once-worn dress on eBay that originally retailed for $3000 for $300. What can you do with the $1300 you saved, on the wedding dress alone? Here are some ideas:

1. Stick the funds in a savings account and add a mere $20 to it each month. At 5% compounded monthly, you'll have over $3000 in 5 years.


2. A 7-day cruise for you and your husband in the Carribean.


3. A Friday night date with your new husband every week for 10 months (2 matinee movie tickets, Mexican dinner = $30 x 43 weeks = $1330.


4. A computer, inkjet printer, scanner, and digital camera


5. 4 months of weekly hour-long massages


6. 70-150 shirts from Old Navy


7. A semester of grad school at a state university


8. Fitness club membership for you and your husband for a year


9. A band at your wedding reception


10. Holiday gifts for your mom for a very long time

Locally-Grown Reception is in Good Taste

One of the most delicious ways to be an earth-friendly Good Bride is to use locally-grown, organic foods for your reception. For example, for a Georgia wedding, menu items might be Stone Ground Whole Corn Grits, Warm Banana Bread, Tomato Basil Mozarella Salad, Peach Salsa or Chutney to accompany the meat (ham, grilled trout, chicken), and Toasted Pecans. These could be used by a caterer, but we are seeing more and more brides and grooms who are buying their own foods locally and then preparing them communally, with the help of friends. The cost savings in the latter approach could be astronomical, and in most cases, the food will taste much fresher and pleasing. These days it's pretty easy to find a farmer's market, even in small towns. In fact, LocalHrvest.org has an easy-to-use website that allows you to search for Farmer's Markets in any zip code. Even better - you can probably pick up some locally-grown, organic flowers and plants at a Farmer's Market as well for a fraction of the cost that the florist will charge. Photo by karen.fromthelbc

What Ever Happened to the Morning Wedding and Breakfast Reception?

We think we should strongly consider bringing back the idea of a morning wedding with the breakfast reception. There's no time of day that is sweeter, cleaner and fresher than the morning, and the idea of a new day is in concert with starting a new life. Just glancing at the catering menu of one hotel, popular as a beachside wedding site, we note that the plated dinner meals begin at $31 (for a chicken dish, salad, rolls, and vegetable, tea coffee), while their most expensive breakfast meal is $15 (eggs benedict, corn beef hash, crab, fruit, potatoes, juices, coffee). With 100 guests, this is the difference in a $3100 meal and a $1500 one (plus service charges and tax). The savings on alcohol also be substantial. Consider the difference in serving an average of 2 drinks to 100 people at $8 a drink ($1600) versus 2 glasses of champagne punch at $125 per gallon for $900.

Now what about dancing? While it may be hard to imagine a disco-type scene in the daytime, you may be able to pull off dancing (if you wish) with a beachside or poolside reception. Another idea would be to have a smaller informal gathering of close friends who like to dance later in the evening at a local pub or hangout.

Now whatever happened to the morning wedding and breakfast that was so typical at the end of the 19th century, and well into the 20th century? According to a 1905 New York Times article: weddings were moved from mornings until afternoons or evenings to ensure that the "bridegroom turn up in prime condition...whereas in the morning the chances were of his appearing decidedly seedy, to say the least." The reason? In those days, the night before the wedding was not dedicated to a rehearsal dinner, but rather a bachelor supper (and alcohol fest) which usually lasted all night long.

Here's some good menu choices for a morning wedding: Gazpacho or other cold or warm soup, Crab Souffle, Broiled Tomatoes, Stuffed Mushrooms, Cheese Grits, Melons, Muffins and Croissants with various jams and honey, juices, coffee, champagne. The centerpiece should still be the cake!

Do You Really Need a Caterer?

Okay, maybe your initial response is "YES, of course I need a caterer!" The general expectation these is that you will serve some sort of food or meal, and clearly the focus of the Good Bride will not be on garnishing the finger sandwiches and heating up meatballs at the last minute. But let's look back to the weddings of the 50s, 60s, and 70s for a bit. We recall (or have heard about) a time when wedding food usually meant either a buffet of food prepared by various friends and relatives, or cake, punch, mints, and nuts for an afternoon reception. Since that time, we've moved through an era of somewhat-affordable catering by local restaurants into very-pricey venues with often-mediocre menus priced at $25-$100 per guest. And these days, it is the exception rather than the rule to find one who will allow you to bring in your own alcohol or cake. The reasonable Good Bride should carefully consider these options when selecting a reception location. Among the better, more responsible choices:

• If your location allows, enlist the help of family and friends to prepare food a menu, incorporating favorites of the two of you. Hire someone who is not a wedding guest to take care of setup, replenishment, and cleanup. You will not only be pleased with the quality, but will save up to 90 percent.


• Use a hybrid approach, using some foods from a caterer, and other favorites that you, your family or friends have prepared. Bring your own alcohol, if you plan to serve alcohol. Enlist the caterer for the responsibility of setup, replenishment, and cleanup. This option may cost a little more than the first option, but will still save you mega-bucks, particularly on alcohol.


• Fully catered, but with simple, affordable selections. The actual food is not what the guests will remember - it is the feeling, the atmosphere, and the magic.

Good Chicago Bride Saves Money Through DIY

Even those brides who live in the most exclusive Chicago zip codes, whose typical wedding costs can top $100,000, have been re-thinking the spendness madness, according to The Chicago Tribune. One such Good Bride demonstrated her fiscal panache by making her invitations, monogramming her own aisle runner, and other items, including eight flower balls for which the florist was going to charge $75 each. The author cites experts who predict a trend towards less wedding spending, and a good business market for stores that off DIY bridal merchandise. For example, we really love the look and price of these sandy print-yourself wedding fan programs by Martha Stewart at Walmart. Yes, they are using a little paper, but it's much more environmentally friendly than air-conditioning. I'm really thinking simple beach wedding. ARTICLE LINK

Welcome to The Good Bride!

We believe that the ridiculously oppulent wedding funded by second mortgages and seven maxed-out credit cards is becoming a thing of the past. We believe that brides-to-be are becoming almost as weary of their own empty self-absorption as their bridesmaids, family and friends are tiring of their petulant need for attention. We believe that, in spite of the obscene lengths to which brides will go to impress their guests, most decadent weddings have become somewhat indistinguishable and predictable. We believe that, underneath the layers of tulle and chartreuse and magenta matching favors and table cards, the inner heart of many brides is quietly hoping for permission to wed in a manner that better reflects her joy, love, and genuine nature. The purpose of this blog is to provide creative resources and inspiration for the bride who wishes to plan a rich and meaningful wedding minus the harsh toll on her relationships, the environment, and her finances.